On being a Dad/Grandpa…
Three Decades to Learn the Most Important Lesson

This past weekend, I got the chance to experience the best gift of life once again…that of being a Dad and a Grandpa.

I was overwhelmed by emotion as I sat surrounded by my family at the holiday dinner table. Four of my five daughters were home, (one too far to travel the another just returned from college in Missouri).

In a world that moves so quickly that one rarely takes the time to ask "how did I get here?" let alone, "where am I headed?" it was a moment that seemed to connect three decades of my life in an instant.

I was in college, and a girl whom I had dated on and off for a couple of years called me to say ask me over for dinner after a football game. I was tired and sore for playing in the game, but the offer of a steak dinner sounded great. To make a very long story short, that night, after a couple of beers, my oldest daughter was conceived. After weeks of anguish we decided not to have an abortion, but to get married. It's the kind of thing you do when you are young, and trying to do "the right thing."

Saving you from the details of an arduous and traumatic five years, suffice it to say, that after trying every way to make it work, we ended up getting divorced. We battled for custody for years, with my ex-wife remarrying a number of times, and me finding the REAL love of my life.

My real wife (as I like to call her) and I raised my two daughters, and had three more of our own (I wasn't great at calculating the cost of weddings/college/child raising in those days).

Cut ahead another 20 years, and almost all of my girls are grown (30-28-19-17-15), and now, sitting across from me at the table were my two grandsons (3 and 1), stuffing their faces with ham, potato salad, rolls, fruit salad, and as many bits of holiday candy as they could sneak from the stash they had under the table. I had just spent an hour laying on the floor, playing with the G-scale train set that I have for when they visit- and we had decided to take a walk after dinner, up to the waterfall that is in the woods near our house.

My point of all of this, is that there is just no way to know when a decision in your life is going to be one that changes not only your life, but the lives of so many others, and maybe even the world. Had I not accepted an invitation to dinner after a football game, with a girl that I had dated on-and-off in college back in 1975, I would not have had the sheer joy of being surrounded by a family of bright, funny, people I could call my own, including a little guy who said, "Grandpa, I love you when I come to visit, because you are funny! Can I have another roll with jelly on it?"

When you take the time to figure out what really makes life worth living, it sure as hell isn't money, power, or talent. For me, it is knowing that if you do the right thing, and work hard, that things will almost always turn out for the best.

Looking into the faces of the lives that are so much a part of me, I can honestly know that my greatest accomplishment is in them, and who they will become.

Who knows? Maybe my grandson will find a cure for cancer, or bring the people of the world together in peace? Or maybe he will be wise enough to know when he "has it all," surrounded by a family made possible by a testosterone-filled young football player looking for a free, home-cooked dinner after a long day on the field.

When it comes to issues like marriage, abortion and so many other tough decisions life presents--the questions are many-- but in the end, at least for me, the answers are clear.